Dogs have owners; cats have staff…
We should start by getting this out of the way, right up front: cats consider themselves superior to all God’s creatures, everywhere. So review of accomplishments may be in order. I will place a check mark by the winner in each category and we will see who has more check marks.
Accomplishments of Dogs vs. Cats:
Worshipped as Gods
The dogs are worshipped as a part of a five-day Tihar festival that falls roughly in November every year. In Hinduism, it is believed that the dog is a messenger of Yama, the god of death, and dogs guard the doors of Heaven. … In Nepal it is said that dogs are worshipped at the festival called Khicha Puja.
✅ The Ancient Egyptians held cats in the highest esteem, the penalties for injuring or killing a cat were severe. They worshipped a Cat Goddess, often represented as half feline, half woman, whom they called Bastet.
This goes to cats because, well, because it’s Ancient Egypt and that’s uber-cool. And they carved them into Royal Tombs! A weekend at Khicha Puja ain’t gonna’ cut it.
Félicette: was the first cat to have been launched into space. The French have the honor of reducing the cat population in the most creative way.
✅ During the 1950s and 60s, the Soviets sent over 20 dogs into space.
Score one for Dogs: Liaka remains famous to this day.
✅ Chips was the most decorated war dog during World War II. 1966–1973: Approximately 5,000 US war dogs served in the Vietnam War. Dogs are deployed with solders around the world to this day.
An estimated 500,000 cats served in the trenches of the Great War. … In a war that saw men stuck in trenches and picking off rats with their bayonets, cats were a godsend. “Throughout the ‘war to end all wars,’ cats were a common sight in the trenches and aboard ships, where they hunted mice and rats,” says Mark Strauss.
The dogs of war were destined to take this one.
ASTRONOMY CAT Snuggled in the arms of astronomer Edwin Hubble (yes, that Hubble), Nicolas Copernicus the cat was named after the Renaissance astronomer who dared assert that the Earth revolved around the Sun.
✅ Search the Internet for dogs in science and you turn up scores of articles. Dogs are the subjects of numerous studies. However, a fuzzy lump on my sofa informed me that dogs have authored fewer thesis than cats. I will disregard this information for two reasons:
- The same lump said she was an F35 pilot last week
- The question wasn’t who has been awarded more Doctorates (I doubt cats really have that many)
Cats don’t seem to make great scientists or liars; maybe it’s the attitude.
Holding down a job
✅ Working dogs and chillin’ cats… yeah, I don’t even need to look.
So, after a careful review of our check marks, we see a score of
- Dogs = Five
- Cats = One
We must note that the one for cats was for being a God. I may be no expert but I think the title God outranks Junk Yard Security.
So cats are good for one, single thing: worshiping.
The proof is from temps passé
Just by looking at cats, you can see just how little they really think of you – they look, well, they actually look superior, and they tend to really act like it as well.
In fairness to cats, they are certainly better than humans at lots of stuff.
Cats spend most of their life sleeping – so just when do they find the time to kill billions of birds and small mammals every year? Clever, far too clever if you ask me.
They are better at climbing, vertically if necessary, and falling; just last year, I saw a kitten jump from the upstairs balcony of a villa, vertically down. Expecting to hear the crack of broken bones, it didn’t even pause when hitting the ground, just run off without even the hint of a limp. Clever bastard.
Seeing and hearing – so much better than us poor humans. Superior night vision for instance; we need helmets with huge technology installed – all built in to the superior cat. And, although Michael Caine might say “Not a lot of people know this..”, a cat’s hearing ability also puts us useless humans to shame. Their hearing range has been estimated to be between 55 Hz and 79 kHz, compared to our rather pathetic 20 Hz to 20 kHz.
They also tend to pounce with rather more agility, and they are even better at killing than we are.
But what about being superior to dogs? Are they superior to man’s best friend because they are cheaper to keep, use less space, are content indoors, are quieter, and kill loads of pests? Yes, they must be, for all those reasons.
But wait! There’s police dogs, military dogs, drug detector dogs, and plenty else, but, unless I’m mistaken, no police cats, military cats or drug detector cats….but wait again! Apparently, a cat’s cerebral cortex contains about twice as many neurons as that of dogs. And they have more nerve cells there than dogs, than most other mammals, and of course, more than us losers, the humans.
So, if you’re still with me, and if you are, I assume you had nothing useful to do today, you may well ask: why don’t cats do those clever jobs at which dogs are so good?
Maybe it’s because “dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.” (Huffington Post). I would add, “If they can be bothered to…”
Or maybe the proof is from temps passé; Cats were worshipped by ancient civilisations – I can’t recall dogs ever receiving that kind of reverence. So the cat’s aloofness, smugness and laziness could well be down to their knowledge that they are indeed, a naturally superior race….and of course they couldn’t care less what we think, because they know……..
Cats: a naturally superior race?
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….
There’s a legend saying that cats used to be an alien race that descended to Earth and later degraded to ordinary animals still keeping their grace and style…
My cat’s name was Freddie. I named him after Freddie Mercury, Queen’s lead singer, my favorite band then, back in 1999. He was an all-black cat, strong, bad to the bone, green eyes, not nice, sometimes aggressive even to me. Still, he was a beautiful cat. I adopted him as a two-month-old kitten. Not a kid but something like that to me. I think I was something like a mother to him because he was taken from his real mother at a very young age…
We obviously have had chemistry all the way. We’ve changed three flats, he was spending summers at my parents’ dacha, living it to the fullest there. Fighting other cats out there, guarding his territory.
He died in 2013, being 14 years-old, before his time, because of kidney problems. April 5, 2013 was one of the worst, maybe the worst day in my life. He needed injections during the last year to support his life, expensive medicines, etc. I also did experience a divorce and a new marriage at the time so it was a turbulent period of my life…
This little black creature has left an unforgettable trace in my life.
I love cats, much more than dogs.
And, yes, there was something mysterious in Freddie’s ways. He was arrogant. Aggressive. Nice. Beautiful. He was behaving out-of-this-world. Not like a typical pet, in my opinion. We’ve had an interesting life.
Probably, they really are alien and, who knows, superior?