This week we have asked the boys to do something a little different: they must pretend that a friend has woken up from a two-year coma. How would you describe the last two years to someone who has been asleep? Oh, and there’s a catch, it has to be done in two-hundred words maximum…
The world has kind of changed since you switched off on January 15, 2020.
Study the COVID-19 acronym. This severe form of flu has taken several millions lives by now. Yep, the ‘Spanish flu’ would be the next thing to compare. Don’t be surprised with so many people wearing masks on the streets. But… it is being fixed now.
Donald Trump has lost his re-election; with the economy being so good at the time, it was the COVID-19 turning into the ‘black swan’ of his presidency. Now things there are worse – just take a look at the next man.
In Russia our President, on the contrary, will probably stay forever. He changed the Constitution during an illegitimate referendum in 2020. Some say he is lethally ill – and not with coronavirus. Betting on this could be fun. Alexey Navalny is in prison now with no perspective to break free anytime soon. Before that Putin tried to poison him but didn’t succeed. When Putin enters the world of eternal hunt, Navalny will be fresh out of jail the next day.
Enjoy your new life: there’re many discoveries for you to make on this new planet!
There’s been a few changes ‘round here and I figure you would want to know what’s happening.
- Trump is not President; Biden beat him in the last election. But Trump’s pissed and he’s doing a great job at destroying the country.
- The whole damn planet has moved towards authoritarian governments. Many countries now have far right movements.
- Russia may take another bite out of Ukraine – next month.
- There’s a pandemic and a new virus called Covid-19. It has killed over 5.5 million so far! There is a vaccine but because of the politics, too many people will not take the shots so we can’t stop the virus. You’ll see many folks wearing masks. Most went through something called a Lock-Down where you had to stay home.
- That whole Climate Change thing is becoming a joke: the fossil fuel industry sent the largest single contingent to the last big meeting and mostly got their way.
- Many people are angry and quitting their jobs by the millions.
- Not all is dark: SpaceX is going to Mars.
There’s a lot more but I have to get photographed. The Rectum of The Year contest is coming up. Later!
…a brave new world?
You’re looking good, considering….I know your first question! How is everything in the outside world during your absence? Please listen carefully, I will only say this once.
We have a global “Day of the Triffids” scenario, a world-wide pandemic; a virus so powerful that it has changed everything we do and how we do it. Probably starting off in China soon after you fell asleep, it has spread everywhere. Us British have lost 150,000 souls, but we have pioneered, along with other nations, vaccines that are making a huge difference, and after two years, we might just be getting on top of this.
Most of us who can, work from home, wear masks in public places, and despise people who refuse these vaccinations. Especially tennis players.
Britain is now out of the European Union and it’s an absolute disaster. Boris is still prime minister, but nobody knows why. He and his toffs have broken all the rules to which the public have faithfully adhered, and we await somebody to shoot him shortly. We live in hope.
England’s cricketers are shit, Arsenal are still struggling, and accordingly my friend, my advice would be for you to go back to sleep.