…..convince the brainwashed that they are wrong.
It will never happen, of course, and there’s little point trying, and indeed I don’t. But the following frustrations make me see red……..
Flat-earthers – I find it difficult to comprehend the utter stupidity of those who can’t grasp the basic concept of gravity, and who refuse to acknowledge the science that was accepted thousands of years ago.
Moon-landing hoaxers – who can’t comprehend the fact that yes, we did actually land men on the moon, not once, but six times, with irrefutable evidence to prove it beyond doubt. But no, this pathetic assembly of brain-dead apologies for human beings shout out about a massive cover-up by NASA to hide the fact it was all staged. Yes, the deniers actually believe that every single one of the 400,000 men and women who worked on the Apollo project all stayed schtum about this fraud, and of course, they have to believe the Russians were in on the hoax too.
The religious – I simply cannot fathom why anybody today, in the 21st century, needs to believe in a sky-fairy, and attempt to live their lives in fear of a “god” (one of around 4,000 that are revered around our planet) who, they believe, will send them to eternal torture and torment unless they do what they are told. By a mythical being. For whom no evidence has ever been supplied to show it, or him, or her, or they, exist.
We were all born atheist – but sadly, so many of us are indoctrinated and now can’t live without our “faith”. To the detriment of the entire human race, which has had to suffer wars, conflict and terror all in the name of a totally irrational belief in fairy-tales.
I really wish I could…
…be an NHL player!
I have loved hockey since elementary school, in the early 1980s, and later. My elder brother played hockey when a teenager; he even played for the Leningrad youth team, so I had a good background.
It was the time of the great USSR v Canada fierce battles on the ice. The Challenge Cup, Canada Cup, and the Rendevous Cup were the battlefields in North America. Russians beating Canadians and Canadians beating Russians on ice; that was an exciting story of two truly hockey superpowers…
Coming closer to the NHL. It was also a time of three great North American clubs, each winning the Stanley Cup several times in a row, one after another, each marking an epoch. We talk about Montreal Canadians (a four-time Stanley Cup winner 1976-1979), New York Islanders (a four-time Stanley Cup winner 1980-1983), and Edmonton Oilers (also a four-time Stanley Cup winner 1984-1985, and 1987-1988).
Guy Lafleur, Larry Robinson, Mike Bossy, Bryan Trottier, Wayne Gretzky, and Mark Messier were household names to me. I remember the grand Stanley Cup final of 1984, when the Islanders, already having four Stanley Cups and aiming for the fifth consecutive trophy, lost in a dramatic five-game series to the Edmonton Oilers, led by fantastic Gretzky, later nicknamed as ‘The Great One’; thus changing an epoch in the NHL. The Islanders’ ‘dynasty era’ ended, paving the way for the Oilers’ reign. A king is dead, long live a king! I witnessed it and still remind myself of it.
It is a paradox, but, being a hockey fan, I never actually played on ice — only a few times. Unlike my brother, I never was a good skater. Yes, I played as a goalie in winter on the snow in our apartment building’s yard with my peers, but it wasn’t true ice hockey. No skates either.
Still, checking out the Canadian hockey stats and watching the Soviet-Canadian battles, I dreamed of being an NHL player, fearlessly skating in the rink, tackling and scoring… I never made a single effort to become a hockey player, becoming one of the numerous armchair experts.
Yes, I still wish I could be a hockey player. Sometimes I think that I would become one in another life, miraculously travelling in time and space back in the 1980s, somewhere in North America, making my dream finally come true…
I Really Wish I Could
I’ve actually given this some thought: we are supposed to write about one thing that we wish we could do but never will. That last little part lets most things out. Let’s say I wish I knew how to play the piano (I do) then I could start taking lessons next week. Maybe I could only play Chopsticks but I could play. If you think you should know how to do something, then just do it – life is too damn short.
There are certain things I know I’ll never do, like be an Astronaut or a President but I really don’t lust after those things. So, they don’t qualify based on the first half of our little rules. I don’t really wish I could. Do you have any ideas?
After a bit of thought, I decided on a little fantasy I’ve always had: a life aboard a sailboat. I love the water but I don’t want to swim in it; I want to be on it. I think living on a sail boat would be the coolest thing.
Sailboats are not like motorboats, you can go as far as the wind will carry you. The only limiting factor is food. The entire world is within range of your boat… dream it, then sail.
You may be saying: then just go do it. Nope. See, boats big enough to make a passage start at about fifty feet and they are called yachts. It gets worse, to sail something that big, you need all the wenches to be motorized and all rigging to be automated. Otherwise, you’ll need a crew. These boats start at almost a half million new and by definition you’re unemployed. Anything I could afford I wouldn’t trust my life with.
Imagine seeing all those islands in the South Pacific. Remember the old black & white movies where the moon glitters off the water at night? I know it’s just a dream and I’ll never do it. I also know that in real life those islands are hot and humid. But it makes no difference, it calls me.
When I was a kid, my father owned a marina and later I read books by William F. Buckley about his adventures sailing to these exotic places. I wish Buckley were here today. Of course, he would be banned from the party and called a RINO. That’s OK, I would still buy his sailing books.
So, I’ll make that my I Really Wish I Could answer: I would sail away to Tahiti, by a moon that sparkles on the water… with a lovely blonde as Captain.