Why are all men bastards
Roger Bara

In days gone by, Mrs. B used to go regularly to a club called AMAB. Yes, that’s right, the “All Men Are Bastards” club. Although we had gone through a rough patch in marriage, things appeared to be back to normal. Nevertheless, she, and many other women of her acquaintance, met up regularly, probably slagged all us blokes off relentlessly for a couple of hours, and came home in a good frame of mind. 

Some men are complete and utter bastards, of that there is no doubt. For instance, those who dominate, bully, and permanently act as if they are superior in every way. The list goes on: posers, nerds, workaholics, slackers, philistines, predators, computer geeks, emotional illiterates, needy jerks, slobs, liars and perverts. (I got that list from a woman). Wankers and losers, the lot of the them. 

Bastards T-shirt

The problem is the rest of us are often put into the same category, when in fact most of us are equally wonderful human beings as our dear spouses think they themselves are. We’re generous of spirit, thoughtful of mind, and just as loving and caring as they are. Honest.

I think the problem is all to do with the past, where women were never fully appreciated for what they really were. Maybe they still are not. So long as they were good in the kitchen, and equally good in bed, that was it.  Their intellect was not important – in fact a clever woman was always a threat to the male partner, so had to be subdued wherever possible.

Just try subduing Mrs. B. I dare you! 

The fact is it’s only some men who are complete and utter bastards. Most of us are the opposite. We are fine, we do the right things; maybe it’s because we are utter cowards, the kind of person who would never ask: “Why are all women bitches?……”

Why are all men bastards?

Our Rusuk Blog writer Sergey

Yeah, really, why? 

I’d say sometimes they are. I’ve been acting as a bastard more than one time in my life. Sadly, it was mainly connected with women; this probably explains why women might think that all of us, men, are bastards. 

However, not all the time; I would say I am a part-time bastard. I can be proud that it is not a full-time job. 

Book Cover

Maybe some unlucky females have been meeting only bastards in their lives. Though I think it is a minority of women. Well, hopefully. 

There’s a book by an Australian couple, Alan and Barbara Pease; both spouses are psychologists. The book is called Why men lie, and women cry. It was an international bestseller, explaining the different natures of men and women. It says that ends would never meet as we are genuinely different not just by gender but by our social roles since the dawn of humanity. 

For example, men have been hunting or fishing for thousands of years. We had to run fast and quickly spot the game or fish. This is why men love sports so much, kicking a ball in football (sorry, in soccer, Dean), punching the opponent in boxing, and so on. Men take fast decisions and love sharp and clear statements and definitions. 

On the other hand, women are good communicators. It is explained by the fact that while men were hunting, women sat at home with kids, chatting and developing their communication skills. 

These cases explain why we are different in terms of social behaviour and psychology in a pleasing way. 

One question still haunts me: the book is perfect and comprehensive, but its title is another way, a polite one maybe, to say that we are all bastards.

Why are all men bastards?

Photograph of Dean Lewis
  • We smell funny
  • We’re not too smart but too dumb to realize it
  • We do some really stupid stuff – often
  • We like to think we’re in charge

I’ve actually given this some thought (yeah, I know) and I have a couple of comments on the subject. First, some of this is not really our fault; all young men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Truth is, nature has given us a special gift: we can only think about two things… one of them is food. 

I’m not trying to make excuses, but we really can’t help it. Mother Nature wasn’t kind to men, we think we are indestructible but we are utterly clueless. We jump off bridges and jump into arguments. As we get a little older, we get this Alpha Male thing where we convince ourselves that we are in charge. I think that’s why most politicians and CEOs are men; we know we can do a great job. That’s why the planet is a mess. 


I was trying to think of something positive excess testosterone gives to you and I only had one idea. When I was in my twenties, I could eat anything. I mean as much as I wanted, as often as I wanted and I never gained a single ounce. In return for this “gift” I get to die five or six years sooner than I would have otherwise. Now I can simply look at food and it jumps on me.

Of course, I don’t really believe all men are bastards. Many work to make this world a better place: Gandhi, King, and Mandela come to mind. My favorite local charity is a group that helps Sea Turtles. Here’s a link to their volunteer page. Look at the pictures, I mean look at the ratio of male to female volunteers; I’m going to guess it’s like four women to every man. On the other hand, it’s not a coincidence that almost all Wall Street Brokers are men and they are almost all bastards. Think I exaggerate? Click this and blow up (click) the image near the top: 53 male traders and 4 women by my count.

Speaking of bastards, name any authoritarian leader anywhere in the world. They are all men… every last one.