We in Russia are far from something comparable to the JFK assassination mystery. On the other hand, we have something more significant than a personal cover-up.
I talk about the deep-rooted anti-Americanism, one of the current regime’s pillars. The official ideology says the United States is Russia’s ultimate existential enemy. For every bad thing that ever happened in Russia, the reason is always America. If it doesn’t seem clear or logical, you have to scratch the surface deeper, and there would be Uncle Sam lurking and grinning at you, eventually. Most of the nation believes this bullshit simply because they are uneducated, don’t know the history of their own country, and, the worst, couldn’t care less to know it.
This is how we get to the conspiracy theory. America is not Russia’s ultimate enemy. It is the opposite, as Americans saved our asses three times during the 20th century. And most Russians happily know nothing about it. They believe America has no other business than a dream of destroying Mother Russia.
Let’s do some fact-checking now to prove that Putin’s regime has developed a huge conspiracy theory.
The first time was the famine in Russia at the end of the Civil War in the early 1920s. The American Relief Administration was set up by Herbert Hoover in 1919 to help starving people in post-war Europe and Russia. It peaked in 1921 when several of Russia’s regions experienced a catastrophic famine triggered by the Soviet government’s war communism policy. Its activity spanned until the summer of 1923. During that time, the food relief program reached up to 10.5 m Russians across the European part of the country, saving the lives of tens of thousands of my compatriots. The full-scale relief mission is unknown in Russia. Maxim Gorky, a famous Russian author, who was instrumental in attracting ARA to Russia, said: ‘ Your help will be recorded in history as a unique, gigantic achievement, worthy of the greatest glory, and will long be remembered by millions of Russians… whom you saved from death.’
Well, millions of Russians missed out on the story.
The next thing is America’s involvement in World War II, especially its lend-lease program. The Soviet historiography fantastically downplayed it, saying that America’s part of only 4% of what the USSR produced in weapons and ammunition of every kind, steel, cars and trucks, and food. In fact, it was much more critical. Russia received 22,150 airplanes, 12,700 tanks, 375,833 trucks, 2,500,000 field telephones, 238,000,000 tons of frozen meat, 328,100 tons of aluminum, etc. These are just some positions out of dozens. In their memoirs, Josef Stalin, Marshal Zhukov, and Nikita Khrushchev said that the USSR wouldn’t stand against Nazi Germany in 1942, the worst year, without lend-lease.
Again, most Russians now tend to think that the USSR single-handedly managed to destroy Hitler and, what is the funniest thing, Japan.
Finally, we get to the post-Soviet Russia in 1992. It was nothing like the famine of 1921, but the country was devastated. The food deficit was tangible. Boris Yeltsin’s government seriously considered famine riots in the winter of 1991/92 as the Soviet economy simply died and the new economy didn’t start yet. Contrary to the official line of the current regime, America did nothing to destroy Russia at its weakest time. Instead, the US and the West, in general, started Russia’s integration into its orbit, such as converting the G7 into G8. Let’s remember the Provide Hope food and medical supplies relief operation implemented in February 1992, which delivered around 25,000 tons of supplies to dozens of Russia’s cities.
Now most of my compatriots know nothing – or don’t want to – about America’s critical help three times during the last century. I consider it the biggest conspiracy that covers up the fact that the United States, at least, is not the Auld enemy.
It is more like a partner reaching a helping hand during a crisis.
Britain’s biggest conspiracy theories
I am always perplexed as to why, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, a minority, though not necessarily a small minority, choose to believe in an alternative truth. I have had to accept that people’s beliefs are more likely to be reinforced by positive or negative reactions they receive in response to an opinion, usually on social media, rather than considering logic, reasoning and scientific data.
But that’s not what this blog is supposed to discuss. So, let’s look at the British, and its take on what is real and what is not.
One in three people in Britain believe Princess Diana’s death was not an accident, (according to various surveys.) Unbelievable. Tossers, all of them! Numerous investigations, experts and an inquest have all agreed with the official account of events that shows the Princess of Wales was killed because of the grossly negligent driving of her chauffeur Henri Paul, who had been drinking.
Our wonderful British conspiracists, however, believe what happened was not a tragic accident but rather a hit carried out by agents of the British state. The then Harrods-owner Mohamed al-Fayed, whose son Dodi died in the crash, claimed the killings were ordered because the royal family did not want the mother of the future king having a child with his son who was a Muslim.
Another great theory, if you think these theories are great, is that the series of boulders that make up the prehistoric monument known as Stonehenge, some of which weigh in excess of 50 tons, were moved by using know-how passed down from God-like aliens to mankind.
Other British conspiracy fetishes include Paul McCartney dying in 1966, with a lookalike hired to take his place……I know, I know, but it gets worse. Us conspiracy Brits also believe the Covid-19 pandemic was used to try and impose a totalitarian world government; we firmly believe that white Americans and Europeans are being replaced by non-white immigrants; and the cost-of-living crisis is a government plot to control the public.
These crazy people that believe the unbelievable may well have been lost down online rabbit holes. I do wonder, however, whether the centre of power in most places being hopelessly distant, corporate giants doing as they please and everyday life too often feeling fragile and meaningless, is a reason for all this nonsense being spouted.
America’s biggest conspiracy theories
Ya know, sometimes I just feel sorry for Roger. Sergey has Putin, and he says the Jewish Nazis are killing Russian speaking children. I got Trump. That fool went for a full-on coup, except we won’t call it that. And what is Roger going to come out with? A dumb-assed, fat boy partying during lockdown. Hell, that wouldn’t make a good Wednesday afternoon for The Donald.
I know Roger, he’s gonna get all freaky over some random, lame-assed scandal. Worse than a damn Canadian. “I’m sorry. Will you call me tomorrow?” NO! And nobody wants your damn Mud House wine.
So that leaves me and Sergey for the biggest conspiracy. I figure I got a good shot at this. I mean my guy has five or six criminal indictments, two impeachments, and maybe twenty or thirty felonies. And, as a bonus, he’s got maybe a quarter of the country going “Well hell, it’s all them Libtard Democrat Prosecutors.” We have a deep bench too: Majorie Taylor-Green even brought her Jewish Space Laser along. All Sergey can come up with is the UN and them boys ain’t got shit on Fox.
Dear Reader and Jury, my esteemed pier and co-writer, Sergey, will say that Vladimir Vladimirovich tells the biggest whoppers and therefore owns the biggest conspiracy crown. I submit that my hero took a top-secret map for an invasion of Iran and said: “It’s drawings for the next Trumpy Golf Course.” Hot dog stand; Tehran airport, what’s a little boo-boo between friends? Hey, did you see how he won Arizona? By a freakin’ mile!
All this brings us back to Vladimir, today’s loser. I politely request that you are gentle with Sergey. Before you make sport of SG’s plight, consider how it would feel to have your champion suck at sucking. Even China be like “Damn, this boy sucks.”
The Donald sucks with a polished style that Vlad envies. Yeah, he drools. Did you see that time when Donald pranced presidential up the steps of Air Force One with all that toilet paper stuck to his shoe? Seriously, those Air Force Officers snapped smart salutes and didn’t laugh for shit. My ass would still be in Leavenworth Prison. Vladimir never once had that much style.
I rest my case….