A new cartoon for my country…

Putting-It-Wrong’s Adventures In the Yellow and Blue Prairies

Characters: 

The Grand Chief Putting-It-Wrong, ruler of the Swamp Land.

Yesman, the Grand Chief’s Right Hand.

Young Chief, leader of the Yellow and Blue Prairies.

Far Away Friends, Young Chief’s buddies living overseas.

Synopsis:

Part 1

Putting-It-Wrong, the Grand Chief of the Swamp Land, was an old, ruthless, and experienced ruler. The more he reigned his land, the more he was thinking of his greatness, believing he is one of a kind, a unique person, incomparable in mankind’s history. Almost all his tribesmen were speaking of his mighty abilities and skills. There was a handful of men who didn’t think so, but… some of them perished, and others were imprisoned or had to leave the Swamp Land. 

Having reached greatness in his land, Putting-It-Wrong still had one problem. Or a dream, you might say. Across the border, there was another land with another tribe living there. This land was known as the Yellow and Blue Prairies. Once a part of a bigger territory united with the Swamp Land, now they live independently, though not so well off compared to the overconfident Swamp Land tribe. Instead, they happened to have plenty of buddies from overseas lands, known as Far Away Friends. 

So the Grand Chief has always been thinking about that other tribe as a part of his people. He couldn’t think of his life as complete without it. He ordered Yesman, his military adviser, to go and take a secret voyage to the Yellow and Blue Prairies, to check out what that tribe thought of being a part of a bigger Swamp Land. Yesman went there but he didn’t complete his mission. Instead, he went to a pub near the border and spent a whole week there, drinking recklessly. When the time has come, he returned to the Grand Chief and told him that almost all of the Yellow and Blue Prairies people adore him and would rejoice if he comes in. Yesman also said that Young Chief would surrender to Putting-It-Wrong or simply escape to his Far Away Friends the moment the Swamp Land’s army invades.

The Grand Chief envied the Yellow and Blue Prairies’s ruler, Young Chief. He was much younger and, unlike Putting-It-Wrong, was elected by his people during a free tribe gathering. Plus, unlike Putting-It-Wrong, he was an easy-going person, not afraid to meet people on the streets Anyway, the Grand Chief didn’t take him seriously and ordered his army, that he considered a strong and mighty force because everybody in the Swamp Land believed so, to invade.

The Swamp Land’s army invaded the Yellow and Blue Prairies. They thought the locals would meet them with flowers and bow down, just like Yesmen had told the Grand Chief. Unfortunately for the invaders, hundreds of them were killed in the first hours of the fighting. Thousands more have been killed as they tried to move in…

Part 2: 

…now, eleven months later, it became clear even to many people in the Swamp Land, that the Grand Chief Putting-It-Wrong made a terrible mistake. Thousands of people from both tribes died, and the Yellow and Blue Prairies were devasted but not broken. This land might have been already conquered but the Far Away Friends came to help so the Yellow and Blue Prairies people could continue fighting to defend their land.

However, Grand Chief Putting-It-Wrong still believed that all he did was right. He fooled lots of his tribesmen and many of them also believed his fantasies. 

Now it was up to the proud and strong Yellow and Blue Prairies tribe and their Far Away Friends, to prove him finally wrong…

The tide is now turning…

(to be continued)

The Twats of Toryville

This is a brand-new cartoon in which the main characters are all appalling; they are based on current and former Prime Ministers, and all are members of the putrid Conservative (Tory) party.

They have something else in common – all have very long noses, on account of them all being compulsive liars. They have only one aim in mind throughout the series. They must get re-elected at the next opportunity, and all regard, with utter distain, the population they serve. Except for the filthy rich; they are not only spared this, but all the policies of the government are specifically designed to make them even more wealthy.

The main players are, in no particular order of odiousness:

Rich Sunak – wealthy beyond comprehension, and lacking any empathy with ordinary folk;

Boorish Johnson – a lying, cheating narcissist with the morals of a modern-day slave trader;

Jizz Truss – unbelievably stupid; 

Theresa Maybe – totally out of her depth at anything she touches.

The first episode sees these four people, along with other Tory Party members, blatantly disregard Covid rules which they themselves had created. They party all night while everyone else has to isolate to prevent the spread of the virus. (I know that seems far-fetched, but this is a cartoon.)

Of course, the poor people of the U.K. are extremely hacked off at this, and, once Covid restrictions are lifted, storm the Houses of Parliament, and throw all four over the edge from the roof-top bar. In best cartoon traditions, the four all bounce back up, ready to fight another day. Except for poor Liz Truss – she is never heard of again.

The Swamp Smurfs

Cast:

• FartySmurf

• McSmurf

• TurtleSmurf

• SmurfieQ

Bios:

FartySmurf – is currently the leader of the Smurfy Swamp. Apparently when FartySmurf went to Smurfdon to meet QueenieSmurf, he cut one that lasted for days and combed BorisSmurfs hair.

McSmurf – he’s smurfy angry most of the time. His mouth looks like it starts just above his Smurfy blue belly and ends shortly below his bright, orange hair. 

TurtleSmurf – nobody knows exactly how old he is or where he comes from. Sorry, that’s the complete Bio.

SmurfyQ – She hales from the swamps of Smurfga and even alligators fear her bite. She’s in love with McSmurf and seems to now be in charge of SmurfySwamp.

Synopsis of the First Episode:

When we visit SmurfySwamp there is an epic battle taking place between FartySmurf & McSmurf, who’s currently eating a Smurfburger. Both want to be Swamp leader but don’t seem to be able to tell the others why they should be. SmurfieQ, a Smurfanon follower, says she’s sick of this bullshit and she is going to the toilet to make sure there ain’t no damn queers in there. Why? Errr… that part is never really explained. But we’re seriously pissed about it. 

SmurfyQ burst into the stink-house marked Ladies, only to discover turtle droppings. There’s only one Surf who could have committed this vile crime and he ain’t no damn Lady. Of course, neither is SmurfieQ but that part is never really explained (either).