Epitaph is a brief genre, but very intense. So, I won’t play around.
I don’t know what cemetery I will be buried in. Yet, I see the words on my little tombstone:
Here lies a man
Who went in many directions,
But succeeded in only a few.
God bless! Amen.
How do I want to be remembered?
I’m not convinced it’s especially important to leave behind some grand marker that prompts people to recall who I was, or what I may or may not have achieved.
What I do feel fortunate about is having spent much of my life involved in things that brought enjoyment to other people — through my work, and later, during retirement.
Music gave me that opportunity for many years. I played keyboards in various bands at rock venues, wrote and arranged musicals and pantomimes for theatres (oh no I didn’t!), and even spent evenings tinkling the ivories in lounge bars while people gently applauded and occasionally bought me a drink.
For more than two decades, I also hosted a programme on BBC local radio. Happily, many listeners told me they enjoyed it. A few kindly informed me that I was dreadful and made them furious. I’m oddly proud of that too — at least it suggested someone was listening.
Retirement has allowed me to continue doing things I enjoy while, hopefully, giving a little pleasure to others along the way. I run a choir for people who simply love to sing, I write this blog — which the occasional person may stumble across and find mildly amusing — and I co-host a long-running podcast that continues to attract some wonderfully heart-warming reactions.
I suppose what I’m really saying is that I’ve always preferred the idea of contributing a little happiness while I’m here, rather than worrying about how I’ll be remembered afterwards. Sharing laughter, music, conversation and companionship has mattered far more to me than leaving behind some kind of legacy.
And if, when my time is up, a few people happen to remember me as someone who gave them a smile, a song, or an enjoyable moment, that would be more than enough.
How do I want to be remembered?
For me this is not a difficult question. I try, emphasize the word try, to make my small corner of the world a better place. Being kind or offering help even to those who don’t deserve it. I’m often mistaken for weak.
Don’t misunderstand me, I do have a long fuse and once I decide that you have crossed a line I will simply and completely walk away. That doesn’t happen often and I tend to mull it over for some time before coming to that decision.
This is both good and bad; I’m allergic to negative energy. I tend to be trusting to the point of naive. Because I trust, I have been used more times than I want to admit. Over time I have considered the trait and decided that’s OK. I should continue to trust everyone where possible. Being kind should not be considered a fault.
Of course, this personality comes with some odd twists. Turning away a hungry animal is not something I will normally do. You’ll not be surprised to learn three dogs and five cats are currently calling this place home. All of them were homeless and looking for help. I spend more money on them than I do on myself. I sweep the floors for hair almost daily and that’s OK; they are my family.
I suppose most would consider me a failure. If you measure success by money I’m an abject loser. Do you ever hear people say “he’s worth” and name some silly amount of money? If that’s your yard-stick, we live in different worlds.
How do I want to be remembered? A cat just jumped in my lap and I suppose that’s good enough.