First, I’d start with religion. I was born in a godless country, the Soviet Union, with all religious issues being on the backstage of public attention. Religion was perceived as something outdated, wrong, and not worthy of paying attention to. It was both in usual life and media.
I remember some ancient babushka, all dressed in black, begging for money on the train. Even seeing a beggar in public was very unusual in Soviet times. Plus, she was murmuring something like ‘for Christ’s sake’; this is why Christ was not a very attractive person in my eyes back then and years after. I was confused and frightened by such a manifestation of what I called then religion. I thought, as a seven-year-old boy, that all religion was about such stuff.
Years after, in the 1990s, my attitudes towards religion have changed. I witnessed the Christian Orthodox revival in the early 90s; it was cool and spiritual. But… I am still not a believer. I prefer facts, not beliefs in some divine creature up in the sky or elsewhere… Plus, I see how terrifically corrupt the Russian Orthodox Church is, including its chief priest, Patriarch Kyrill. Again, I am not a Christian, but Kyrill and people like him in higher ranks have destroyed my belief that the Orthodox Church in Russia currently could have any moral credibility at all. It is crippled inside. Yes, there are some good and moral priests around Russia, I admit it, but generally, the Church has no moral ground to preach. Plus, officially, the church supports the war in Ukraine and even calls it a ‘holy war.’ Come on, the religious people support killings!
As to other attitudes, I still don’t like compromises, but my life is full of them. Being a sharp and edgy man disrupts my ground, yet this is what I am: made of contradictions.
I still hate it when people arrive late, and I try not to be late myself. Yet, sometimes, I can be late and blame only myself for it, not some external factors.
I am still pretty sharp in my political views. I have problems with some friends who support what’s going on in Ukraine. Unfortunately, I project my attitude towards them based on their political views. One can call it a silent civil war happening right now in Russia.
I respect work and people of work—any work: the one that demands a higher IQ, and the one that doesn’t require it. I hate rich corrupt bastards, especially those who work for the state in Russia at the same time. Yet, sometimes, I have to fight my own laziness.
As I am 49, I haven’t become softer in my attitude with age. Probably, the time hasn’t come yet. Yet, my personal life experience shows no signs that I must change my basic beliefs.
Have our attitudes changed with age?
I always thought politicians are funny. When they change a position, others call them flip floppers. So being incapable of growing or learning is considered a strength and if you listen, think, and adapt you’re a weakling. I would make a crap politician. Of course, the truth is these clowns rarely change their minds because new facts have come to light, they change because the polls tell them they are about to get left behind. Power is more important than doing what’s right. Ted Cruze is the poster child of this attitude: “I’ll be your doormat, Mr. Trump, just love me.”
Most of us start out simply parroting whatever our parents say. Want to know what Dad really thinks about a topic? Ask the 5-year-old what he thinks. In our teens and twenties, we begin to form our own ideas, often to our parent’s dismay. I believe it’s during this period that we develop the beliefs we carry into middle age.
Of course, life beats the hell out of most of us. Some respond by becoming angry, doing their best to make sure others also know pain. Scar tissue grows thick over the heart. Others start working to make the world a better place. It’s this group I aspire to join. I believe these people become more thoughtful with age, better able to feel for others and less judgmental.
I have also found that with age I’m slower to offer an opinion; a trait my UK friends will find hard to believe. I didn’t know I had a big mouth until I moved here. I don’t think I’m any smarter with age but the words are more measured. I now consider my words, then say the wrong thing anyhow. Does wisdom come with age? That’s all up to the person doing the listening.
Have our attitudes changed with age?
I was so surprised when starting to think deeply about this subject, to find my attitudes have barely altered in the 71 years I have been privileged to be on this earth.
Only in one area have I changed completely. Religion. Like so many children, I was indoctrinated to believe in a magical fairy in the sky. I would pray fervently, attended church (forced of course) at least weekly, and was convinced one day I would go to heaven. I didn’t eat meat on a Friday (wtf???) and tried to make some sense of the bible.
It didn’t take long for me to find church services utterly boring and inconsequential. My questions, like “why is God allowing millions to die of starvation in Africa”, being dismissed with “he works in mysterious ways”, certainly didn’t help. Finding out that masturbation was a sin was a knock-out blow. Basically, we were taught that God was unaware of priests sexually abusing children, be he always knew when I was playing with myself.
As a very young teenager, I continued to take holy communion, but not because I was accepting the body of Christ, but so I could kneel next to a gorgeous girl and check on her rapidly developing breasts.
As I grew older, I found I was becoming less patient, and indeed angrier at religion and religious people. I began to question the need for faith at all in our modern scientific world. (Today, I abhor all religions and faiths, and the irreparable damage they do, and continue to get evermore grumpy about it.